in honor of someone important to me

in honor of someone important to me

She Let Go.

“She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.”

– Safire Rose


100 days!

100 days!

100 days alcohol-free!!

I can’t believe it. I stopped drinking alcohol (which was wine 95% of the time) 100 days ago.

My relationship with wine is as complex as wine itself. There were no dui’s, no black-outs, no falling down stairs and very few conversations I regretted the next day (unless politics or homosexual marriage is discussed because both of those topics make me go a little bat-shit crazy no matter what beverage I’m drinking). There was an alcohol tolerance that increased gradually to an alarming level, weight gained, poor sleeping habits, mood swings and anxiety. I couldn’t fathom going to a social event that didn’t involve alcohol or my pre-drinking ritual. (can you say unhealthy?!?!) By the GRACE OF GOD, I got off that bus.

They say “It’s all about the journey, not the destination.” There’s a lot to be discovered on this journey.

Welcome 2014

Welcome 2014

A clean slate. A fresh start. A new beginning. The tree will be down this afternoon, and I can’t wait! It was a wonderful relaxing Christmas filled with our little family, friends, music and lots of food. No wine for me, and even that felt good too. But while the decorations get taken down to the basement today and school starts back tomorrow, I have to admit that there is a small part of me that welcomes the bareness and scarcity of a cold, quiet January. December’s excesses fade away, and things seem slower and easier again. My mind ponders new possibilities and new resolutions for this year. Two words come to mind: thankful and hopeful. Happy New Year friends!!

extract from “Song Of The Open Road” -Walt Whitman

Listen, I will be honest with you
I do not offer the old smooth prizes
But offer rough new prizes
These are the days that must happen to you:
You shall not heap up what is called riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve.
However sweet the laid up stores,
However convenient the dwelling, you shall not remain there.
However sheltered the port, however calm the waters, you shall not anchor there.
However welcome the hospitality that welcomes you,
You are permitted to receive it but a little while Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road
Healthy, free, the world before you the long brown path before you, leading wherever you choose.
Say only to one another:
Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money; I give you myself before preaching and law:
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

I’ll make you a sammich!

I'll make you a sammich!

Dear Jay, I’m sure you are already wondering what incredible gift to give me for Christmas this year….something delightful and special that will surprise me and make my overly dramatic self scream with glee when I open it! You’re thinking: what would she absolutely love? a David Yurman bracelet, a spa gift card, that sweater from J Crew she’s been eyeing? I’ll make it super easy for you: A PANINI MAKER!!!! Yes I know I dont really cook (but I AM awesome at ordering take-out). I think the problem is that we’ve never owned a panini maker. With a panini maker, I could easily make all sorts of fabulous sandwiches with gooey cheese, bacon and fancy mustards or spreads. We could have breakfast sandwiches with eggs!! We could have caprese sandwiches with mozzarella and fresh basil! I think this might be the answer to our “wasting $ on take-out” issue that we fret over each month (for the past 19 years of our marriage)!! You may be thinking, “a $29 WalMart panini maker doesn’t sound like much to give her.” No worries. I’ll take the bracelet, spa gift card and J Crew sweater too. I promise to jump up & down and act surprised. xoxo, Susan

baby, it’s cold outside!

baby, it's cold outside!

It has been FREEZING the past few days, and it’s getting dark sooooo early now with the time change. And so it begins: hats and gloves, wet boots, wiping the dogs’ muddy feet as they come back in the house to name a few “fun” aspects about cold Buffalo weather.
BUT, I do love that cold weather brings these:
Flannel sheets
Starter logs for the fireplace
Doggie coats (I saw a pug wearing one with a fur collar-hilarious!!)
Peppermint & chocolate mixed together in any form—candy, cookies, coffee
White Christmas tree lights and live greenery
Ugg slippers
Complete silence outside late at night or early morning right after a fresh snowfall
Stocking stuffers
Blankets on the couch when you watch tv at night